… please stay tuned, we have some behind-the-scenes processing going on. We will return you to your regularly unscheduled blogging as soon as we can.

I locked-down the blog when I was feeling quite low and self-attacking.

Now that the critic is quieter, I was able to ask myself: how do I feel about opening the blog back up?

I thought about how I’d feel if a family member came to my blog and read the post, Hiding Feelings. I did feel a little anxious. I’m not sure exactly why this was, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I have made it very clear, through my actions, that I do not wish to engage with them, but they’re cyber-stalking me. To open myself up to that, even in a small way, does cause some anxiety.

But then I thought about how I’d feel if somebody came to my blog through a link to one of my very heartfelt and personal posts. I felt sad, and I think the sadness came from them not being able to access the treasure that I have to offer. I mean, when most people come to a site and they have to log in to do anything, even if it’s a completely free account, they skip it unless they’re very motivated to sign up. Heck, that’s what I do all the time.

So if I have something valuable to offer people, and I hold it back because of a handful of people will feel bad… well, isn’t that being unfair to the people who will appreciate what I have to offer? Isn’t that being unfair to myself and living in reaction to my history?

So… I’ve unlocked my blog. Enjoy!

Please give the songs I uploaded another listen if you like. I got some new equipment and the recording is more than 100% improved:

What Is Man?
Saturday “Serenade”

If any of y’all were wondering, we’ve arrived, are unloaded.

Our headboard did not survive the journey. It would appear that the loaders did not load it wisely nor did they buttress it properly according to the way they loaded it.

Beth’s not been very well the past few days. We’re hoping it’s just stress! The eating schedule’s been way off (eating late, eating badly), and there’s been, of course, the physical and emotional stress of moving. We have less than a carload of stuff at the old apartment still, so I’m going to take care of that tomorrow morning and will hopefully be able to get back before lunchtime.

I imagine we’ll be unpacking for a while… but that’s OK!

We are tired, but safe.

Excellent, Smithers! With my blog now at bluehost.com, not even Homer Simpson can stand in my way!

Who, sir?

I plan on obtaining hosting (through bluehost.com) next week, so please bear with me through the upcoming changes. It’s likely that you won’t notice a thing except for having to log in again, but there will be a point in time where this host will be deactivated so that there aren’t any more updates to this database when the new one goes live.

I am hoping that the upstream bandwidth will improve! Right now, I have a 30kbps pipe that not only is my home Internet connection, but is also shared among all potential users of the website. So, if you have 3 people downloading a file simultaneously, you’re all very lucky if you get 10kbps each! I’m particularly looking forward to that improvement.

The blog, she has been moved to www.personalarchaeology.com. The feed should redirect, but please update your feed-readers as necessary with the following url:

http://www.personalarchaeology.com/feed/

Edit – Livejournal users, I’ve put in a support request to change the feed URL. You shouldn’t need to do anything special.

Hello all! I’ve replaced my old router, and networking around here has gotten much faster. I am hoping that this will resolve the issues that people have been experiencing with the website, especially the very strange hanging errors that I’ve been experiencing for far too long now.

Hey, I finally had $50 to throw at the problem instead of blood, sweat and tears. (Those latter things don’t mix well with computers anyway.)

Download MP3
8.7M 12:33

I’ve decided to go with a new name for this blog. Instead of “eques’ ruminations,” which was a fine title for a while, I’ve settled on “personal archaeology: Rationally Exploring the Inner Life.”

After all, that is what this blog is about! To the best of my ability, combined with the help of my friends, I explore what makes me tick and share that with the world.

I realize that this isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but so far, it has been the most rewarding adventure I have ever been on, full of thrills and chills that will last me for the rest of my life.

Perhaps even you will join me in my trek! Let us share our experiences and share in our growth together.

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