I’ve finally done it!

I finally got my apartment cleaned!

One of the things I have struggled with lately (at least, somewhat consciously) is the utter lack of “basic” self-management skills. Things like keeping my living area somewhat in order; maintaining cleanliness of my dwelling; certain aspects of hygiene like shaving regularly; getting enough sleep; getting enough exercise; etc.

The reason I put “basic” in quotes, however, is that these skills would be acquired in a safe, nurturing, loving environment, which was simply not what I had. What I do have are fantastic management skills for an environment where the only two options are frustrated, unpredictable rage or massive, guilty depression.

What aptitudes I lack in normal behaviors I make up for in emotional management and projective capacities… all of which were essential for survival where I came from.

To put it another way, it is absolutely not the case that one day I sat down and decided that I preferred the behaviors that led to the lack of “basic” skills I now struggle to attain.

And you may ask, why do I want to gain these skills, or at least recognize and compensate appropriately for them?

It’s all for love and romance!

It’s for the future wifey… the friends I have and will make… the children I will hopefully father one day… for me to get out of my own way so that whoever it is that I am will shine through, because that’s the only real way to live, anyway.

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