The Moralist is a robot of sorts that was installed in me very early on by my parents and fine-tuned by my teachers, peers, and siblings.

Basically, the Moralist creates and recites rules that I am supposed to follow. When I don’t follow them, the Moralist carefully but deliberately puts pressure around my neck. Whether these are the chains that the Moralist has wrapped around my neck or the Moralist’s hands, I’m not sure.

The Moralist doesn’t have any volition. It doesn’t spontaneously produce opinions or desires: it merely regurgitates that which it is programmed to spew in order to control me.

For me, the Moralist leaps into action when somebody I have some sort of connection with expresses a negative emotion. I feel quite a lot of guilt, and there’s no escaping it despite what the other person says. This is because the Moralist is able to spin a story that links my actions (or inactions) to this person’s negative feeling, and so even if I had nothing to do with the other person’s feeling at all, I feel like a bad person.

The Moralist, however, is not without a voice. I think that Mr. Voicebox was speaking the words of the Moralist Sunday evening, especially in that final, chilling line: “I don’t think you should kick me out.”

There is a threat in there, and the threat reflects a real and true danger that was present throughout my childhood: “don’t evict me,” the Moralist hissed, “if you value your life.” The Moralist was set up as necessary for my survival.

However, the Moralist that remained was abusive. Since it did not respond to my entreaties to release its grip on my neck nor did it speak with me when I made the demand to do so, it is a strong possibility that it is an intruder within the ecosystem.

When I did order the Moralist out, I felt much freer! I felt like I could breathe more easily, and the anxiety that resided in my chest dissipated.

What I am uncertain of is if the Moralist can actually be ordered out quite so easily. I have a feeling that it will keep trying to sneak in, to work its poison into my joints and bones, so causing me to feel sick instead of allowing me to become healthy.

But that’s why I have the rest of you guys, both inside and out.

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