It’s kind of funny that the first posting in my “non-personal” journal is something that fits into both categories. However, I can still, at least, try to separate my comments into “non-personal” and “personal” ones.

So, in eques, I’ve posted some broader Thoughts on the Free State Project. In a nutshell, I’m strongly considering removing my signature from the Free State Project (FSP)‘s Statement of Intent (SOI).

The significance of such a move is not all that great. After all, my name is only one out of a few thousand, and their “mission” can certainly be carried out without my name being part of the body count. However, it is about my integrity, and about what I believe is right.

I admit that I was somewhat hasty in signing up–it is clear to me now that I did so without fully thinking it through. In my defense, however, much of my present disagreement grew from a few doubts I had in the beginning that I considered to be insignificant at the time. That is to say, the doubts I had I either ignored or read a response to them. The doubt regarding political involvement in particular was definitely there, but I was “assured” by the comments of others that political action was not necessary.

(I will say that, strictly speaking, political action isn’t necessary. I think that the 20,000 activists figure has a decent amount of wiggle-room to allow for those who would sign up and be strictly apolitical. However, it would not be appropriate to say that the organization is not political in nature.)

I joined the FSP because something resonated in what I read. However, a degree of resonance does not mean that everything included in the package is appropriate. To use the classically extreme example, Nazism doubtless resonated with enough Germans on some level to gain strength, and we can observe the massive devastation that ensued.

I don’t want to control other people. Every time I’ve felt the desire to go into politics somehow, I’ve stopped myself before I began, either because there appeared to be no principled politicians, or because there seemed to be no way a principled individual could succeed. I now know that it doesn’t matter how principled the individual is, because the system itself is flawed. For the small amount of good said individual might produce, much, much more evil is perpetrated.

One thing that bothered me briefly regarding my removal of my signature from the SOI was the potential of losing social relationships that I gained by joining the FSP. But that didn’t bother me for very long, because I’ve already been down a very similar road when I disclaimed Christianity. I’ve had more than a few people essentially turn their backs on me because I could no longer honestly consider myself a Christian. If I can handle the sort of hypocrisy that enables an individual who has been my “friend” for years to turn their back on me, I can certainly handle that sort of behavior from people I’ve only known for a few months at most.

I will say that I am very sorry for using the FSP as a vehicle to get people to help me in my time of need. Even if I had good intentions at the time, the fact remains that I did use this association far more for my personal benefit than for theirs. I’m not sure that my manipulations have been all that minimal, either. Sure, I had people help me move in, and I rewarded them with pizza. My landlord also gave me quite a few breaks and we’re just now catching up. But those are minimal in comparison to using the FSP for social satisfaction. I am very decidedly not interested in politics and attended the regional meetings largely to fill my own social needs.

I suppose I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I just feel that what I did was wrong. The only thing I can really do from this point on is to not do that anymore. I should also be up-front with people about my withdrawal from the FSP, whether officially or otherwise. Then, if any damage has been done, we can proceed from there.

My guess is that not a whole lot of damage has been done, as I didn’t really keep very many secrets as to my doubts from the beginning. But there was still that one veneer, that one mask that I never removed until now.

So, any of you who still feel that the FSP has merit, good for you. I think you’re wrong, but what else can I say?